The Mechanics of Dialogue (1)
Copyright 1999 Leigh Michaels
Additional exercises in punctuating and organizing dialogue.
Kit drew circles on the table with the base of her soft-drink glass and said
Sue and I have some great ideas for getting the singles club up and
running, Ali. Alison sighed. Look, guys. I'm sorry, but you know very well
I've been no more than lukewarm on the idea of the singles club
since Sue first came up with it. You're the one who suggested getting a
restaurant to sponsor it, Susannah pointed out. And that's the key
to-- One suggestion hardly makes me a fan. And I can't do a good job
on a project I think is ludicrous. Oh, really? Kit murmured. What
kind of public relations person are you, anyway? We're always doing
something ludicrous. If you think I want to brag about creating a bunch
of dancing ducks to promote the new water park-- But you believe
in the water park Alison reminded. Doesn't matter. Besides, you
can't expect either Susannah or me to do it. You're the only one of us
who can, Ali. Alison sighed. Because I'm the only one of us who's
still single. Exactly Kit murmured. That is completely illogical, you
know. It's like saying I can't make a good video welcoming newcomers
to Chicago unless I'm a newcomer, and that's just--" There was no
warning this time, and the pain which racked her was by far the
worst she'd ever experienced. Alison clutched at her abdomen. She'd
have doubled up, but there wasn't room in the narrow booth.
Susannah's gaze met Kit's. An ambulance, do you think? No! Alison
struggled to sit upright. Almost automatically she said, It'll pass.
Sure of that, are you? Kit sounded skeptical. It always has before.
Oh, that's reassuring! How long have you been feeling this way,
Ali? Weeks, Susannah said darkly. Remember, Kit? Clear back when
you started having morning sickness, Alison was-- If she hadn't
been feeling so wretched, Alison would have burst into laughter
at the sudden suspicion in Susannah's eyes. I'm not pregnant she
managed. It's just... cramps or something. A little worse than
usual, but-- I'm relieved to hear it, Ali, Kit said crisply. Excuse
me for missing the occasion, but just when did you get your medical
degree? She didn't wait for an answer. We're going to check this
out right now. If you'll go get your car, Susannah... Susannah
didn't move. Are you sure I shouldn't call the paramedics? I'm not
sure of anything Kit said. But we can't ride with her in the
ambulance, so we'll need the car anyway. She dug her cell phone
from the depths of her handbag. Susannah nodded and hurried
toward the door. Oh, for heaven's... Another wave of pain
swamped Alison's voice. Kit flipped madly through her address
book. I knew I should have put this number on auto-dial. I don't
want an ambulance, Kit. I'm calling a friend. Alison, taken aback,
could only stare at her. A friend? A friend who also happens
to be my obstetrician. I told you, I'm not-- --Pregnant, I know.
Well, obviously there's something wrong, and the way you're
clutching your tummy makes it a good bet that you'll end up
consulting somebody in that field. Besides, Logan's the only
doctor I can think of who's likely to still be in his office after
six on a Friday night... She turned her attention to the telephone.
Hello, is Dr. Kavanaugh in? I see. Will you page him and ask him
to call Kit Webster? It's an emergency. The worst of the wave
had passed, and Alison could get her breath again. I'm too busy
for this. I've got a video to finish... She was startled by the high,
tight pitch of her voice and the panic which clutched her throat.
Kit put the phone down. Exactly. And if you'd stop to think about
it, Ali, you'd realize that I'm only doing this because I'm darned if
I want to get stuck finishing your video. The words were tart, but
her smile was warm and reassuring. Alison's panic eased a little,
but the lump in her throat suddenly felt as big as the Sears Tower.
Yeah, right, she said. Kitty, I don't deserve you and Sue. Can we
get that in writing? Susannah said breathlessly. I'm parked on the
sidewalk, Kit, so it might be a good idea if we don't hang around
here much longer.
Here is the same passage as it appeared in the final version:
Kit drew circles on the table with the base of her soft-drink glass and said, "Sue and I have some great ideas for getting the singles club up and running, Ali."
Alison sighed. "Look, guys. I'm sorry, but you know very well I've been no more than lukewarm on the idea of the singles club since Sue first came up with it."
"You're the one who suggested getting a restaurant to sponsor it," Susannah pointed out. "And that's the key to--"
"One suggestion hardly makes me a fan. And I can't do a good job on a project I think is ludicrous."
"Oh, really?" Kit murmured. "What kind of public relations person are you, anyway? We're always doing something ludicrous. If you think I want to brag about creating a bunch of dancing ducks to promote the new water park--"
"But you believe in the water park," Alison reminded.
"Doesn't matter. Besides, you can't expect either Susannah or me to do it. You're the only one of us who can, Ali."
Alison sighed. "Because I'm the only one of us who's still single."
"Exactly," Kit murmured.
"That is completely illogical, you know. It's like saying I can't make a good video welcoming newcomers to Chicago unless I'm a newcomer, and that's just--" There was no warning this time, and the pain which racked her was by far the worst she'd ever experienced. Alison clutched at her abdomen. She'd have doubled up, but there wasn't room in the narrow booth.
Susannah's gaze met Kit's. "An ambulance, do you think?"
"No!" Alison struggled to sit upright. Almost automatically she said, "It'll pass."
"Sure of that, are you?" Kit sounded skeptical.
"It always has before."
"Oh, that's reassuring! How long have you been feeling this way, Ali?"
"Weeks," Susannah said darkly. "Remember, Kit? Clear back when you started having morning sickness, Alison was--"
If she hadn't been feeling so wretched, Alison would have burst into laughter at the sudden suspicion in Susannah's eyes. "I'm not pregnant," she managed. "It's just... cramps or something. A little worse than usual, but--"
"I'm relieved to hear it, Ali," Kit said crisply. "Excuse me for missing the occasion, but just when did you get your medical degree?" She didn't wait for an answer. "We're going to check this out right now. If you'll go get your car, Susannah..."
Susannah didn't move. "Are you sure I shouldn't call the paramedics?"
"I'm not sure of anything," Kit said. "But we can't ride with her in the ambulance, so we'll need the car anyway." She dug her cell phone from the depths of her handbag.
Susannah nodded and hurried toward the door.
"Oh, for heaven's..." Another wave of pain swamped Alison's voice.
Kit flipped madly through her address book. "I knew I should have put this number on auto-dial."
"I don't want an ambulance, Kit."
"I'm calling a friend."
Alison, taken aback, could only stare at her. A friend?
"A friend who also happens to be my obstetrician."
"I told you, I'm not--"
"--Pregnant, I know. Well, obviously there's something wrong, and the way you're clutching your tummy makes it a good bet that you'll end up consulting somebody in that field. Besides, Logan's the only doctor I can think of who's likely to still be in his office after six on a Friday night..." She turned her attention to the telephone. "Hello, is Dr. Kavanaugh in? I see. Will you page him and ask him to call Kit Webster? It's an emergency."
The worst of the wave had passed, and Alison could get her breath again. "I'm too busy for this. I've got a video to finish..." She was startled by the high, tight pitch of her voice and the panic which clutched her throat.
Kit put the phone down. "Exactly. And if you'd stop to think about it, Ali, you'd realize that I'm only doing this because I'm darned if I want to get stuck finishing your video." The words were tart, but her smile was warm and reassuring.
Alison's panic eased a little, but the lump in her throat suddenly felt as big as the Sears Tower. "Yeah, right," she said. "Kitty, I don't deserve you and Sue."
"Can we get that in writing?" Susannah said breathlessly. "I'm parked on the sidewalk, Kit, so it might be a good idea if we don't hang around here much longer."
From THE HUSBAND PROJECT
Copyright 1998 by Leigh Michaels
This exercise is copyrighted material and is offered for the individual's own use. Further distribution or sale is not permitted.