Jessica's Story

May 4, 2002

Thursday, May 2, 2002. Mike and I went for our regularly scheduled doctor visit followed by the weekly non-stress test. We had also decided to have more fluid drained and at the same time they could do a second test on Jessica's lungs. The prior week when I had a reduction in the fluid, I felt so great. This visit was not the same. I developed a cramp that made me decide that Jessica could just stay put and I would stay pregnant forever. Not a contraction but a solid on going cramp that took two shots and two pills to cure. Anyway, the test for her lungs was completed. Not good, normal development should be 30,000, the prior week Jessica's lungs tested at 2,000 and now they were at 1,000. The only guess the doctor had was that the diaphragmatic hernia was getting worse and thus compressing her lungs. We had to make a decision, either we could continue with the pregnancy (38 weeks) or induce with a better chance of seeing her alive. Didn't really seem like a decision. The induction was scheduled for Saturday morning. We were to go to the hospital Friday night to take a pill that would soften the cervix and potentially get things started and then return Saturday morning.

The plan was going to work well, because Mike's parents needed to come from Wausau, Wisconsin (about 5 1/2 hours away) and my parents had just gotten here that week from Florida. We made arrangements for the kids and my sister(and savior) had all the instructions. Our Pastor was notified. Everyone that would share Jessica's life was ready to go. Dr. "Good" was on call all weekend (major jackpot!!!) God was answering some of our prayers.

Friday night we went to the hospital. I was still only dilated to 1 cm so they gave me the pill. Contractions started again, although not painful they were finally consistent. I had been having them for about 4 weeks, but never on a regular timetable. We went to bed anxious for Saturday to get here.

We arrived at the hospital at 7am Saturday morning. We had told both sets of parents there was no need to be there before 10am and it would be a long day. Pastor Bob had a funeral that day at 10:00 am but would try to be there by 11 and my sis was to bring the kids around 11. The pitocin was hooked up around 9:00am. Jessica was still very high and we were once again told it would be a very long labor. The doctor (did I mention Dr. GOOD) checked in on me at about 10:30am. As we were talking, I felt a strange sensation. Possibly my water had broke. The Doctor had just told me that they would not break my water until I got to a 4 or so. Ha Ha I beat you to it! Well, not exactly. I was afraid to say anything because I thought that maybe I had just had an accident. When he left I told the nurse I thought maybe my water broke. I really wasn't sure, because I was expecting a major flooding due to the polyhydomnios and it wasn't like that at all. She picked up the sheets and immediately ran down the hall for the Doctor. He came in and checked me, sat down with a grave look on his face and said that it was over. I would need an emergency c-section. I was bleeding. Now entered panic and fear - I had hemorrhaged after my other two and had lost 8 pints with the first and 5 with the second. Both required transfusions and surgery. Apparently, the placenta hadn't moved as far up as they had thought it had, thus I had placenta previa, which is totally different from my other bleeding problems. I had no emotional problems with having a c-section, in fact I was convinced that Jessica's chances were much better that way.

The next 40 minutes were a blur. They prepped me, sent Mike to get suited up and shifted me to surgery. I made Mike tell the family I was having a "c", but not why.
The kids got there just after they sent me to surgery. Jessica Riley Warpehoski was born at 11:24am. I remember the Doctor saying that he was delivering her and then waiting for the cry - Mike said I kept repeating - "she's not crying, she's not crying!" We never did hear her cry. Then I saw his eyes twinkle (a look I will never forget)- he could see her feet kicking. They tried to bag her with oxygen but just couldn't get her to take off on her own completely so they gave her to us. When they handed her to us she had bubbles coming out of her nose - I'll never forget that either - she could breathe and she was making funny faces. She was the most precious baby I had ever seen. We knew her time was limited and we just wanted to spend it with her. Then came the point that they had to take her away. I sent Mike with her - I know he was torn but I thought someone who loved her should be with her. It was very difficult because I didn't know if I would see her alive again or not. The next thing I remember they wheeled me into my room. As I passed Jessica's Doctor. I asked if she was still alive and he nodded yes - God was there! In the room, she was being passed around from Nicole, to Mike, to Jake, to Mike, to me, to Mike to Grandma etc. Just then Pastor Bob came in, we had her baptized. The Grandparents and my sister decided that we needed some time alone and we shared some special moments as a family of 5. We don't know exactly when God came to take her, she was so peaceful. The nurses were so good about leaving her with us they guessed on the time. We sent her with them so that they could clean her up and dress her in the outfit the kids wanted her in. Jake asked me when she was going to open her eyes. I lost it then. At that time, with Pastor Bob there, we told them that Jessica was not with us anymore. They were devastated. I think they thought that since she was alive she would stay with us. We have precious photos that show more than words can say. Jake took it the hardest, and Nicole was such a big sister - I was so proud of her. Jake needed to get out of there so he took off with Nicole and Bob behind. The rest of the family hadn't been told yet. Jake and Nicole were going outside to get some air. My sister was returning from the gift shop and caught up with them while Bob went to tell the family. Mike and I spent some quiet time with Jessica. The time of death was recorded as 1:00pm. Jessica stayed with us until about 5:00pm. Before this experience I could never understand how anyone could be around a body after passing - it was so unbelievable, we could not let her go. Mike and I decided that it was not good to let the kids see her as she was changing. It was the hardest thing we ever had to do. After the grandparents and kids said good bye, they left for supper. Mike and I had our final good bye.

All our prayers had been answered that day. We spent some time with Jessica before she was called to be an angel. She did not suffer. The family - mainly the kids - got to hold her while she was here. Our parents made it from their different parts of the country, my sister was there. God allowed her to be baptized, the pastor was there and we had Doctor. Good!!!. We were all at peace and I came out OK.

On Thursday we had a visitation for family and friends and then the funeral was private (family only) on Friday. When we got home on Tuesday we framed her birth certificate and a poem that I found shortly after we received her diagnosis. These were placed on each side of her casket. On Wednesday we went to the funeral home to see how she looked and I got to hold her for the first time sitting up. I was terrified at first, but I am so glad the funeral director talked me into it. I got to cradle my baby. Because of the c-section I was not allowed to do this in the hospital. A few weeks before, Mike and I went out to see the different cemeteries and found out that there was a space right by my brother open. He was buried in 1954. Apparently, the baby that had been in that spot had been moved not too long before. God works in mysterious ways. I truly feel he opened up that spot so Kenny (my brother) could take care of Jessica. I've always felt closeness to him, because we shared the same birthday - Every year I try to go on our birthday and put flowers on his grave. Now I asked him to take care of my little girl. I know he will. When we were at her grave, I saw him holding her in his arms. I once again felt peace as I left the cemetery.

Thanks for allowing me to share our story. Our memories are so wonderful of this beautiful baby, I would not change a minute of it. Our prayers have been answered and I now have a renewed faith in God because of this precious little angel.