Sunday Morning Dragnet

SCRIPT TITLE:

Sunday Morning Dragnet

AUTHORSHIP:

A good teacher focuses on meeting the needs of the learner.

CHARACTERS:

Officer Sunday, the superintendent

Madge, an adult learner

Herb, an adult teacher

PROPS:

Large Bible, steno notebook and pen, badge in a wallet

COSTUMES:

Officer Sunday is dressed in trench coat and fedora.

Madge is dressed in "Sunday Go-To-Meeting" clothes.

Herb wears a choir robe.

PROPS/MEDIA:

A recording of the theme music from the "Dragnet" television show to be played over the sound system. (If you do not have access to a recording of the music, ask a pianist to play it live. As a last resort, arrange for someone to hum it on a kazoo.)

SETTING:

Sunday morning in the church foyer, between services.

DRAMA

The theme to "Dragnet" plays as Officer Sunday enters stage, carrying a steno notebook and pen.

SUNDAY:     The city: Anaheim, a sunny California community, home to a mouse named Mickey and hundreds of churchgoers. My job: to keep the peace among the faithful. My name is Sunday. I'm the superintendent. (pause) January 14, 2003. It was a typical Sunday morning when I got the call to meet a Mrs. Madge Pew-Warmer between services in the foyer.

Madge enters stage and shakes Sunday's hand.

MADGE:     Officer Sunday, I'm so glad you could come. I hope it's not too much of a bother.

SUNDAY:     What seems to be the problem, Madge? (Sunday flips open her notebook and begins to take notes.)

MADGE:     Well, where should I begin? (pause) My husband, Earl, and I have attended this church since 1953. That's the year we were married. My, it seems like yesterday that Earl and I stood before Pastor Drydust and recited...

SUNDAY:     (interrupting) Uh, just the facts, Madge. What happened today?

MADGE:     Well, I took my usual place in Sunday School this morning, anticipating a challenging hour of dialog and interaction with my classmates.

SUNDAY:     Go on.

MADGE:     Before any of us could even begin to comment on the Scripture passage, Herb...

SUNDAY:     (interrupting) Herb?

MADGE:     He's our Sunday school teacher. Herb started loading us down with all these Greek terms and quotes from ancient commentaries.

SUNDAY:     What happened then, Madge?

MADGE:     I'm not quite sure. All I know is that an hour later, Herb was still blabbing. The class ended and none of us had an opportunity to discuss how to apply the Scriptures to our individual lives.

SUNDAY:     Do you know where I could find this...(pauses to check her notes)...Herb?

MADGE:     He's probably in the choir room right now, getting ready for the worship service.

SUNDAY:     Thank you, Madge. You've done the right thing. I'll look into this.

MADGE:     Well, thank you, Officer Sunday.

Madge leaves the stage as Herb enters, zipping up his robe and singing the scales. He is carrying one of the largest Bibles ever printed.

HERB:     Do rey mi fa so....

SUNDAY:     Nice pipes, sir. May I ask you a few questions?

HERB:     Certainly.

SUNDAY:     Are you Herb, the Sunday school teacher?

HERB:     (with pride) Why, yes. You've heard of me, huh?

SUNDAY:     You might say your reputation has preceded you.

HERB:     (beaming) Well, I do try. Why, just this week I spent five hours at the local seminary researching my lesson. (pause) Did you know many scholars believe that Pontius Pilate had irritable bowel syndrome? I was telling the class how that information might explain....

SUNDAY:     (interrupting) Uh, excuse me, Herb. But what did your class think of your insights?

HERB:     My class? (pause) Oh, yes, my class. Well, I don't quite recall their reactions. (whispers confidentially to Sunday) I think they were so impressed they were speechless.

SUNDAY:     They were speechless, alright. Herb, I'm going to have to take you into the church office...for questioning.

HERB:     What? Why?

SUNDAY:     (taking Herb by the arm) I'm afraid you've broken the rules, Herb. You've put your own needs as a teacher ahead of your learners' needs.

HERB:     (struggling without success to escape Sunday's grasp) Hey! Who are you, anyway?

SUNDAY:     (flashing her badge) I'm Officer Sunday, Herb. Sunday School Superintendent. Let's go.

Sunday leads Herb off the stage as the theme to "Dragnet" plays.