There is a relatively simple procedure to maintain control under any circumstances, that only requires practice, to achieve almost automatic protection from anger, obfuscation, getting mad, loosing your head, and similar feelings and their damaging consequences.
The initial operation is to remember as many of the happy memories as possible. It is necessary to be careful not to confuse happiness with pleasure. For example, a girl and her boyfriend are together, kissing. They might consider that they are happy, but what they are feeling is pleasure. It is true that in such a memory can be elements of happiness, if they are very much in love and are happy when they are simply together. In this case, it is necessary to separate the elements of pleasure from those of happiness. A collection of happy memories is needed. This procedure of remembering and analyzing happy memories is best performed alone, in a quiet environment, like when in bed, getting ready to sleep. Each memory should be remembered and analyzed to give it a body; that is, to fill as many of the details as possible. Doing this before getting to sleep has the advantage of producing a happy and restful sleep. This can also be performed ahead or while doing some distasteful task, like cleaning, cooking, or similar tasks, to get in a happy mood that ameliorates the impact of the distasteful task.
The second part involves something that can be called magic, to make it more interesting. The idea is to imagine some form of a magic container. The container can have any form; it can be a bag, a pouch, a box, or any other form. This container is magic because it has many special characteristics. For one thing, nobody can see it, not even the owner. Nobody can know where it is. Another characteristic is that the magic container is always in the right place; that is, it is not necessary to search for it when wanting to put something in it, or take something from it. The container is always in the right place. It cannot be lost. Another magical characteristic of the container is that, regardless of how much is put in it, it is never full; there is always space for more and more. Further more, when removing a happy memory from the magic container, that happy memory is still in the container and it can be reached for it the next time needed. The more it is used, the easier it is to find it.
In order to see how this procedure works, consider the case that you drive your car some place; you do not have too much time, but you do not want to go too fast. Another driver, who is in a hurry and has very little brains, cuts in front of you, forcing you to make a dangerous maneuver to avoid an accident. Your blood boils; you get very angry. You get your head out of the window and tell him all the bad words you can remember and wish him to have all the bad things that you can think off. You are really angry, mad and excited. You have problems concentrating on driving your car and you run a red light. The cars in the other direction sound their horns, which increases your anger. You finally get to where you are going and you can barely remember why you are there. Your stomach is protesting the abuse and all your innards are in revolt. You fight and insult everybody in your path. It takes you a long time to get calm again.
Now, let us imagine that you developed your magic container and took the time to review, remember and analyze many of your happy memories. Imagine you have been using the procedure for some time. Let us see how you use this procedure in the above example. As soon as you see the other driver cutting in front of you and before you have a chance of getting angry, you reach for your magic bag and take a happy memory from it. This is a simple and automatic act. As you use this procedure more and more, this simple act becomes simpler and very soon, the happy memories pop up in front of you when you need them. Looking at your happy memory makes you happy. The stupidity of the other driver tries to make you mad and angry. You cannot be happy and angry at the same time. It is easier to be happy. You get your head out of the window and tell the other driver all the bad words you can remember and wish him to have all the bad things that you can think off. The difference is that now you are happy inside and all these things are only from your lips out. Inside, you are laughing at the things you are saying. A moment later you break into a laugh and the incident does not leave any mark on you. A final consequence is that you feel happy; that is, you have created another happy memory that you can store in your magic container.
With these ideas in mind, it is interesting to analyze the collection of happy memories. It is too easy to concentrate on getting big happy memories, disregarding the simple, small ones that are more common. Happy memories are needed in all sizes and in all types. Ideally, happy memories are needed that involve relations with all the persons around you. For example, if your brother does something nasty to you, remembering something nice he did to you the day before prevents you from getting angry and you might end up playing with him instead of fighting with him. The small happy memories are used to cover small problems, the more important happy memories are used to cover large problems. When a very large problem appears, it might be necessary to take several large happy memories to be protected from the problem.
There is another use of this procedure that is very helpful and that, again, protects you from becoming angry or nervous and loose control. This is when you need to perform a task that affects you very much. This is the case when it is necessary for you to talk to a person that scares, disgusts, or repels you. This is the same if you need to face the person, if you need to talk on the phone with him, or if you need to write him a letter in response to something. In this case, before facing the disgusting task, you take your magic bag and review as many happy memories as you need to make you happy, even in the face of the task to perform. Such act makes you calm, think reasonably, behave courteously and firmly. When the task is very affecting, you might need to repeat the procedure after finishing the task, to regain your calm.
As a final comment, this procedure has one additional advantage: if you use it continuously, you never get angry, you never get mad, you never answer to other persons in bad mode or with insults. Consequently, if you change from the normal behavior everybody uses to the one proposed here, there will be one more person in the world who behaves nicely and, because of that, the world will be a little better place to live in. Think about it and try it. It is not that difficult and it is nice to be happy.