1. "Don’t they have shots for that now?"
2. "Isn’t it something Roger Clemens usually wins?
3. "Is it an Indian artifact?"
4. "Is that what’s wrong with Rob Borsellino?
5. "How long does it last?"

Hey, it might not be Floyd of Rosedale, but it beats a vacant spot in the old trophy case any day.

Those trusty guides also say the Des Moines Athletic Club donated the trophy. I’ve lived in Greater Des Moines since 1959. Don’t ask me what the Des Moines Athletic Club is. Maybe it was something Buck Turnbull used to arrange speakers for.

For a long time, when Hayden Fry was coaching the Hawkeyes, it looked like Iowa could just wipe the dust off ol’ Cy-Hawk, bring it out to the middle of the field for about 3 ½ hours in September, then pack it away in a dark corner for another year.

That was when the Hawkeyes were winning 15 straight games in the series. Yes, that was when they were clobbering Iowa State by such god-awful scores as 57-3, 59-21 and 51-10. Cyclone fans can thank Jim Criner for those embarrassments.

Then there was the Hawkeye victory in Iowa City after which Iowa’s Bret Bielema called Iowa State coach Jim Walden a body part and told him how much he liked kicking his….well, you remember what Bielema liked to do to Walden, don’t you?

But that was then. Now the Cy-Hawk Trophy sits full and in an upright position in Ames, and is threatening to take up permanent residency. In Saturday’s Iowa State-Iowa game at Jack Trice Stadium, the Cyclones will be trying to retain possession of The Trophy Known Only to People in This State for the sixth consecutive time.

Something tells me Iowa State coach Dan McCarney likes those odds. He likes telling his players that people in Las Vegas think they’re going to lose to Iowa by less than a touchdown.

Oh, sure.

The early-week excitement—as if there needed to be any more--is already building for the game, of course. McCarney took his 11:10 a.m. turn on today’s Big 12 coaches’ teleconference, saying, "We have the Big Ten (co) champions coming in, and it looks like they haven’t missed a beat even though they’ve graduated some fine players," and standout flanker Jack Whitver later talked to reporters about the importance of the Iowa State-Iowa game.

A guy even asked Whitver about the Cy-Hawk Trophy.

"From the outside," the brave reporter said, "maybe it doesn’t necessarily look like a beautiful work of art."

Answered Whitver: "It might not be a beautiful piece of art, but it’s beautiful to have in your possession. It means a lot. It’s a big game for both Iowa State and Iowa. It’s an important trophy to us."

Whitver, a senior from Grinnell who caught eight passes for 132 yards in Iowa State’s 36-31 victory at Iowa last season, said McCarney "puts a big stress on that trophy. He brings it to all the meetings (during the week of the Iowa State-Iowa game) and tells us how important it is to this program."

"Their crowd was really into the game then," Whitver said, "and momentum seemed to be swinging. I didn’t realize it at the time how good a throw it was by Seneca. I didn’t think it was anything extraordinary until I saw it on tape.

"I was supposed to go deep but, for some reason, I turned around and the ball was there."

McCarney calls Whitver "an amazing story. He got his undergraduate degree before he began his junior year a year ago. That gives you an idea about his commitment and dedication."

McCarney, a former Iowa player and assistant coach, said this will be his 22^nd Iowa State-Iowa game.

"A lot of people would like to see us play at the end of the year, but I like it right where it is," he said. "Because of (the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks), the 2001 game wasn’t played until November. Was there more emotion and enthusiasm built up then? I don’t know. There might have been, but both teams had winning records assured by then."

Hey, I’m ready. Dust off ol’ Cy-Hawk, and bring back Bielema and Fry. Heck, why not Donnie Duncan, too. He knew how to hang onto Cy-Hawk.

But don’t bother inviting Criner. Or Walden.

They know how to screw up a good party.