[Generic Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all the affiliated characters are copyright to Kazuya Minekura. No profit has or will be made off of this fiction.]

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~ The Trouble With H ~

Summary: Gojyo and Goku are having trouble. And it usually springs from things that begin with the letter H.

Warnings: PG-13

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Chapter One: The Trouble With...Heatwaves
 
It wasn't just hot; it was a goddamn sauna. Mirage or not, Gojyo was sure he could see the path in front of them melting. Hell, he had to keep checking to be sure –he- wasn't melting. It certainly didn't help matters that Hakuryuu didn't have a top. This left two very cranky backseat passengers, one gun-toting shotgun rider, and one poor driver trying to keep them all from killing each other.

"It's hoooooot..." Goku whined, attempting to stay in Gojyo's shadow, a task that proved harder each minute, as the direction of the vehicle changed the angle of the sun on them.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, bakasaru," Gojyo muttered, heat giving way to lethargy, he couldn't even whack the kid in the head like he wanted to.

"Shut up kappa..." he growled back, hardly an argument.

"Shut up both of you," Sanzo snapped. The pair waited for the inevitable head bashing from the fan, but none came. Gojyo looked over to see that it was preoccupied with attempting to cool the monk off.

The redhead leaned over so he was between the two front seats. "Hey, 'Kai. Anything coming up for a break? Preferably with shade?"

"I'm afraid I don't know," Hakkai replied, momentarily taking his hand off the wheel to wipe the sweat off his forehead. "But I hope so...for our sake –and- poor Hakuryuu," he patted the dashboard affectionately.

Gojyo leaned back into the seat once again. "Me too, 'cause I'm gonna start loosing clothes here in a minute, and I wouldn't want to make you all uncomfortable..." the grin he sported made it known that that was –exactly- what he wanted.

"Spare us..." Sanzo paused his fanning to whack the kappa before returning to its actual intended purpose.

He laughed. "Your loss..."

"...'M gonna get sunburned..." Goku mumbled, shedding the top layer of his costume and resting it over his head, attempting to hood himself from the harsh rays.

"Another day in paradise, I suppose..." Hakkai smiled halfheartedly. Hakuryuu cooed something of a response.

Gojyo shrugged. "Then I guess it's hotter in hell?"

"I think the heat's cooked what little of your brain you had left," Sanzo glared, "You're getting rhetorical."

"Don't they say heat is good for ridding the body of excess water?" Hakkai, outwardly the external optimist.

"Until there's no more left and dehydration takes over," the pessimistic monk countered.

The brunette frowned a bit. "That's true."

"I'm thirsty!" Goku whined, then as an afterthought to normality, "and –hungry- too!"

"So what else is new?" Gojyo flicked the monkey on the nose and grinned.

Goku growled. "Stupid kappa! It's not too hot for me to kick your ass!"

The redhead laughed. "Oh yeah? Let's see you try, Chibi-chimp!"

"DAMMIT!!"

"I –WILL- kill you both!" Sanzo yelled over the building argument.

"Oh good...I was beginning to worry..." Hakkai said to no one in particular. The two in the backseat halted their fight to look at him questionably. A real smile graced his features. "We're coming up on a town."

Goku pumped both fists into the air, the fight forgotten. "YAAAY!"

Gojyo sat back, exhaling in relief. "Thank god..."

The four were silent for the most part after that, whether because no one wanted to expand the energy to talk to they were too busy dreaming of how to cool off in town, no one knew. The small village came into view, warranting a whoop of joy from the youngest member in the group, which, in awe of such a welcoming sight, not even Sanzo silenced.

The village wasn't much in the way of green. A few trees scattered here and there, nothing much. There were canopies over each shop, shading merchants and buyers alike. The town was busy, despite the unforgiving heat that pummeled them. People flitted this way and that, shopping and talking and carrying on as normal. Hakkai rolled to a stop at the edge of town, surrounded by a large stone wall to keep out dangers. Gojyo hopped to the ground the instant the vehicle stopped, followed by an eager Goku. Sanzo, trying his best to keep his reputable dignity in the face of the harsh sun, came third, and Hakkai brought up the rear, after waiting for Hakuryuu to transform and perch on his shoulder.

"The first order of business is securing rooms, I believe," he said as the group made their way past the stone border and into the bustle of the town.

"And then some food!" Goku added, any traces of his previous uncomfort vanished at the promise of filling his stomach.

"One thing at a time monkey..." Sanzo frowned.

They found an inn easily, in the town's square. It was a well-marked building, but quite small. Inside it was deliciously cool, and the group made no small show at their relief. The girl working the counter, who couldn't have been more then eighteen, looked at them as they entered.

"Oh! Hello!" she smiled. She was cute, Gojyo mused, red-blond hair curled slightly at the ends and cool blue eyes that lit up when she talked.

But green trumps blue. He grinned at this.

"Hello," Hakkai smiled back, noteworthy politeness evident. "Do you have any vacant rooms, by chance?"

"Yep, and from the looks of you guys, I'd say you need them."

"It's quite hot today, isn't it Miss?"

"Not if you live around here it isn't. I suppose you get used to it though...that or you hide away in a nice cool building all day. It's so much nicer once the sun goes down."

"I'm sure," Sanzo interjected, mildly annoyed with the chatter.

The girl took the cue. "Um...we've got two rooms, if you like. Sorry there's not more, but this place isn't real big."

"That's more than fine," Hakkai assured her. The girl nodded, a slight flush to her cheeks. She reached behind the counter and came up with two keys, which she handed to the brunette.

"Miss, is there a restaurant around here?" Goku spoke up, leaning on the counter.

"I'm afraid not. This town's pretty self-sufficient. This place is usually so empty; I sometimes wonder why I keep it open. But your welcome to have dinner here."

Goku jumped up happily, before Sanzo quieted him with a fan whacking. "We don't want to be a bother," Hakkai said.

She shrugged. "It's no bother. It's nice to have company for a change, and your poor friend looks starved."

"He –always- looks like that," Gojyo snickered, leaning on the doorframe.

Sanzo grabbed a key from Hakkai. Or as close as he would get to being rude with the brunette. "I'm taking a break from you all." He went down the hall without another word.

"Don't mind him. He's got a fan stuffed somewhere –unpleasant-." Gojyo dug in his pockets for his cigarettes. Pulling one out and lighting it, he continued. "He just needs his beauty sleep."

"Might I ask your name Miss?" Hakkai ignored his friend's comments.

"Oh, sorry. It's Himiko."

He nodded. "Well, Himiko-san, if you'll excuse us, I feel it'd be best if we cleaned up before we dare come to dinner."

She nodded, trying not to laugh at the look of poor Goku's face when forced to wait for his meal. Hakkai ushered the boy down the hall into one of the rooms. Gojyo left his place at the door. "Thanks."

Himiko tilted her head. "Of course."

He wandered lazily down the hall. "See you at dinner, Himiko-san."

===

"I think," Gojyo announced upon arriving in the room Hakkai and Goku were in, fresh from a nice cool shower, "I just may suffer a heat stroke."

"It's cooler in here than out there," Goku frowned, hugging a pillow.

"Move out monkey, I'm rooming with 'Kai tonight."

"What?!" the boy tossed his pillow at him. "What for, hentai kappa?!"

Gojyo caught the airborne ball of fluff. "Because it's hot enough around here without Sanzo's hot air keepin' me up."

Hakkai said nothing, just folded up a comforter they most definitely wouldn't use.

"But there's only one bed!" Goku protested. Hr was right, of course. It –was- a rather small inn.

"I guess you'll just hafta sleep at the foot of it, like Sanzo's pet!" the redhead smirked, using the pillow he had to deflect the second one Goku launched at him.

Hakkai shook his head.

"Well, Hakkai was here first, so you'll be on the floor anyway!" Goku growled.

Gojyo decided not to answer that, although he knew that wouldn't be the outcome. It wasn't the first time they'd had one bed for the two of them, after all.

Hakkai set the folded blanket at the foot of the bed. "Goku, perhaps it would be best if you roomed with Sanzo. He doesn't seem to get quite as upset with you as he does Gojyo."

The boy frowned, but decided to take his words as a compliment. "I just don't want the kappa messing with you."

Gojyo held up his hands. "Who, me? Bakasaru. I'm the perfect gentleman!"

Hakkai smiled, rolling his eyes. "You have nothing to worry about," he told Goku.

"I suppose you can stay here 'till dinner though," Gojyo sat on the bed, pushing Goku over and resting his arms behind his head. "Not even –I'm- sadistic enough to send you in there when his Holiness obviously wants his 'me' time."

"That's comforting..." the monkey muttered, hugging one of the newly returned pillows once more.

About an hour-and multiple card games-later, Himiko knocked on the door. "Ano...excuse me, but dinner's ready if you all are hungry."

"Yeah! Thanks Himiko-san!" Goku jumped to his feet on the bed, causing the card piles to merge together.

Himiko giggled and led the three further down the hall to a small dining room. Goku immediately grabbed one of the plates on the table and began piling it with food.

Gojyo and Hakkai had just started filling their plates when Sanzo appeared in the doorway, pleasant as always.

"Oi Sanzo, I was wondering when you'd grace us with your presence." Gojyo grinned.

"I heard Goku cheering about food, and I decided to get some before he sucked it all down."

"My apologies," Himiko replied, "I thought you were sleeping. Otherwise I'd have gotten you."

"I –was- sleeping." He glared at Goku, whom was too bust enjoying his dinner to notice.

The meal went moderately without incident. It was considerably hotter in the dining room than the rest of the inn, and they were feeling the burn. Goku had shed his layers down to the t-shirt, Gojyo had shrugged off his vest, and even Sanzo dropped the top of his robes. Eventually even Hakkai was forced to lose his heavy green shirt, although he apologized profusely for the rudeness of having to do so during a meal.

After everyone had finished, Himiko stood up. "I have a nice little treat for you all, for keeping me company tonight," she announced.

"All right! Is it dessert?" Goku asked hopefully.

She laughed and patted him on the head. "You'll see. Please wait here while I go get it."

Goku clapped eagerly as the girl went into the kitchen. "All right! I hope it's dessert!"

"I hope she decides monkeys make good pets and decides to keep you," Gojyo replied, taking a drink.

He glared. "Maybe she'll decide kappas make a good lunchmeat!"

Gojyo smirked. "Wouldn't –you- like to know..."

Hakkai nearly choked on his drink. Sanzo pulled his fan and silenced kappa and monkey before either could see the paper weapon.

Himiko returned then, toting a bucket. She looked at Goku and Gojyo, now sporting slight head wounds, Hakkai coughing with his face flushed, and Sanzo sticking a fan in his robes with an angry dignity.

"Oh my...did I miss something?"

"Not if you value innocence..." Hakkai smiled after regaining his composure. "Or sanity, for that matter."

She blinked a few times in confusion, and then decided not to pursue the subject. She instead put the bucket on the table. Goku peeked quickly as Himiko relieved it of its lid. His eyes lit up. "It's ICE CREAM!"

"Cool. Thanks Himiko," Gojyo grinned, eager for anything to help with the climate.

She nodded, scooping up some. "I figured you guys would appreciate something to beat the heat."

"It's very much appreciated," Hakkai replied.

Everyone was handed a bowl of the sweetness. Sanzo nodded his thanks quietly, while Goku was apparently trying to set some kind of speed record.

The monkey set his bowl down when it was empty. "That was awesome!" he winced. "But now my head hurts..."

"It's called a brain freeze, bakasaru," Gojyo said, matter-of-factly. "It's your own damn fault for eating so damn fast."

"It should serve to teach you a lesson," Sanzo grumbled halfheartedly, "but I suppose it falls on dead ears."

Hakkai smiled. "And a frozen brain."

After supper, the group returned to their own devices. Sanzo returned to his room. Goku decided to wander around the inn's grounds, staying close to the kitchen in case he got hungry again. Gojyo set out to view the town and Hakkai helped Himiko clean up. When the redhead got back, Hakkai was half- laying down on the bed reading.

"Hey," Gojyo grinned, shutting the door behind him.

The brunette looked up at him. "How was town?"

He rolled his eyes, throwing himself unceremoniously on the other side of the small bed as best he could with their lack of room. "Unbelievably boring. I think everyone there had their brains fried from sun exposure. And it's –still- ungodly hot out there, sunlight or no."

Hakkai closed his book and lay in on the bedside table. "Still, it's awfully early for you to call it a night."

"My stomach kind of hurts. The heat just made it worse is all," he replied with a shrug.

"Could it be a lack of alcohol in your system?" Gojyo had to reprocess the statement before he caught that it had been intended as a joke.

"Very funny."

Hakkai looked at him with concern. "Are you alright now?"

Gojyo frowned. "It's not as bad...but I feel kind of dizzy."

"Oh dear," he handed his friend a glass of water from the table. "Drink this."

Gojyo downed the contents without question. He started to say something but was stopped as Hakkai pressed his forehead to the kappa's.

"Hmm..." Hakkai leaned back thoughtfully after a few moments. "You don't have a fever...but your face looks flushed. You might have gotten sunburned."

"M-maybe..." he coughed, ready to place the blame for his blush on the sun.

"You just need to lay still," the brunette advised, patting Gojyo's shoulder comfortingly. "Sunburns seem to suck the energy right out of you sometimes."

After a one-second pause to consider the unintended innuendo of his friend's words, Gojyo nodded. "I guess. But do you really think we'll get much sleep?" Another mental image pause. "It'll probably get all humid and sticky tonight."

Strike three. He was on a roll, he really was.

Hakkai shrugged, not catching hidden meanings in the words or not lingering on them. We'll see. For now just try not to move too much..."

Gojyo frowned a little. "Hey, 'Kai..."

"Hmmm?"

"I don't think this bed's big enough for us to sleep side by side."

Hakkai looked at the bed and their positioning. "I'm afraid you're correct."

The kappa smiled. "I've got an idea."

Either the brunette didn't see this smile or he ignored it. "Well, I'm open to suggestions, unless one of us is going to sleep on the floor..."

Gojyo, by this point, had lain down. His smile turned to a smirk and he pulled on Hakkai's arm holding him up, causing the shorter man to fall on him.

"See? This works."

Hakkai started to argue, then sighed in resignation. It –did- solve their problem. He laid his head on Gojyo's shoulder. "I suppose."

The redhead reached over and turned off the lamp, then wrapped the arm around his friend. "Comfy."

Hakkai laughed. The two laid in silence for some time. Finally, Gojyo spoke.

"Hey 'Kai..."

The reply was somewhat drowsy. "Hmm?"

"Isn't it kinda funny that it's hot as hell, sticky, muggy and almost goddamn unbearable, but-"

"-laying here like this isn't the slightest bit uncomfortable?"

"Yeah."

A smile. "I noticed. It is funny. In a good way."

"I won."

"What?"

"I upped Goku. I found a –much- better way to beat the heat."

He laughed. "Go to sleep, you sunburned kappa."

Gojyo kissed his forehead. "Whatever you say..."

[~:.:~]

[~end of chapter~]