[Generic Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all the affiliated characters are copyright to Kazuya Minekura. No profit has or will be made off of this fiction.]

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~For the Smile of Tomorrow~

Summary: Goku is trying to sort out his feelings for Sanzo, and Sanzo is doing his best to protect his saru's smile.

Warnings: This story is rated R and that rating comes into play this chapter

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Chapter 8: Discoveries

Hakkai picked up the gun dropped by Goku. In his confused state, he had allowed it to slip from his fingers. Hakkai let his eyes travel over the gleaming metal as he tried to make sense of what he had just witnessed.

He had finished killing off his group of youkai in time to see Goku running in the direction of Sanzo. He followed Goku, only to find that Sanzo needed no help. He had stared in shock at Sanzo's demon form. Though he smiled wryly at the sun tattoo that had appeared on his shoulder. He had always wondered exactly how those demon markings were decided, but Sanzo's was definitely appropriate.

He himself had turned into a youkai in the exact same manner as Sanzo, and had never dreamed that the monk would use the same method to become a demon himself. Sanzo had been there when he was tried by the Sanbutsushin and knew the remorse he held over becoming a demon. Why would Sanzo willingly bring that upon himself?

The look Sanzo had given him answered that question. Hakkai had known that Sanzo cared for Goku, but he had no idea that his feelings had run so deep. To knowingly become what he hated so that he could be with Goku forever, that took real courage. He risked so much by opening himself up like that.

Only Goku could make Sanzo act in that way. Hakkai felt a true smile grace his features as he placed the gun in his belt for safe keeping. He turned and looked at Gojyo who was staring after Goku and Sanzo even though they were no longer in sight.

Hakkai walked up behind him and placed his arms around his waist. He settled his chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, “Unbelievable, isn't it?”

“Hai.” Gojyo breathed in response. The hanyou brought his arms up and placed them over Hakkai's. “I'm glad though.”

“Honto?” Hakkai turned his head slightly to regard Gojyo's countenance.

Gojyo let a wicked grin cross his face as he said, “Now the saru will be able to put my lessons to good use.” He turned and placed a quick kiss on Hakkai's confused face before walking towards their things. He hefted one bag and began walking. “C'mon, we need to set up camp.”

“Gojyo.” Hakkai called after him. “What lessons?” Gojyo simply kept walking, not acknowledging that the other man had even spoken. “Gojyo! Gojyo!” Hakkai quickly gathered up the rest of their stuff and followed after him.

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Sanzo pulled away from the kiss slowly. He was in desperate need of some air. Not to mention he wanted to get a grip on the situation. Everything had happened so fast. Goku hadn't actually confessed, but his current actions were enough for Sanzo.

He looked down at Goku, whose eyes were half-closed as he also tried to catch his breath. His cheeks were tinged pink, which made him look very appealing to Sanzo. He frowned however, when he noticed a bit of red on his cheeks as well.

Sanzo glared at the blood that had obviously come from himself. He picked up his discarded shirt, and commented, “We should probably get this stuff cleaned before it has a chance to dry.”

Goku's eyes opened fully at the remark, and he nodded his head in assent. “That's probably a good idea.”

Both men were happy for the brief pause. Though they were enjoying their recent activities, they each needed to take a step back. They quickly reached the river and Sanzo began to wash his clothes while Goku splashed water on his face.

Sanzo used this time to contemplate something that had been bothering him.

Goku seemed to have experience in this area, whereas he was totally clueless. As much as he didn't like being in a position of inferiority to Goku, he was more concerned with the fact that maybe he wasn't Goku's first.

What if his inexperience made him inferior to the other people Goku had been with? How many had Goku been with? Had he lied to him when he had said he wasn't like Gojyo? Sanzo shook his head and berated himself for thinking like a woman. Instead of obsessing over the issue, he should go straight to the source.

He gave his shirt a final wring as he brought it out of the water and draped it over a rock next to his arm protectors to dry. He stood and looked over to Goku who was lying stretched out on the grass, obviously enjoying the sunlight. He had taken his shoes and socks off, and had his feet dangling in the water. “Goku.” he began.

Goku opened his eyes and looked at Sanzo questioningly. “Nanda?”

Sanzo walked over and sat down next to him. He locked his gaze on the river and fought a blush as he spoke. ”How did you know what you were doing?”

“It's not like I've never bathed before.” Goku huffed.

“No, I mean, when we were...” Sanzo fumbled for the words.

“Oh, you mean that...” Goku spoke, realization dawning. “Gojyo taught me!”

Sanzo turned in surprise, his eyes wide. “You kissed Gojyo?!” he asked incredulously.

Goku sat up quickly, defending himself, “No! Of course not!”

Sanzo looked relieved at that. “Oh.” He looked at Goku, the question still evident in his eyes.

Goku quickly explained, “This morning, when I went with him to get cigarettes, I asked him about how sex works, and I ended up getting an hour long lecture.” Goku laughed sheepishly at the memory.

“What made you ask him?” Sanzo had a sneaking suspicion as to why, but he wanted to hear Goku say it.

“I thought I should know in case..” Sanzo locked gazes with him when Goku trailed off uncertainly, “In case you and I ever...” Goku blushed and looked at the sky.

Sanzo smiled a little, glad to know he was correct. There was one thing still bothering him though. “So, why were you in a bath house?”

===

Goku looked down at the bottle that Gojyo had placed in his hand. His mind was full of imagery, focused mainly around what he would use his purchase for. “I don't know if I can do this Gojyo....”

“Don't be silly.” Gojyo answered, patting him on the head. “Look, I know it seems a bit odd to you right now, but trust me, you'll thank me later.”

Still not totally convinced, Goku protested again, “Yeah, but Sanzo. I can't really seem him going for it.”

“Then you have to show him that he wants to.” Gojyo drawled, winking at Goku.

“Huh?”

Gojyo fought the exasperated sigh that threatened to come out. He was honestly trying to help the saru, but the little monkey was too naive for his own good. His eyes lit up as he remembered Hakkai's favorite advice. “Just be strong Goku. He's going to be nervous, so you have to help him out a little first.”

“Help him? How?”

This time the sigh did make it out, along with a roll of the eyes. “Why the hell did we spend twenty minutes on foreplay? Just do what I told you, and everything will be fine.”

Goku looked down at the bottle then back at Gojyo. “If you say so....”

===

You'd better be right Gojyo. Goku thought to himself before turning his gaze back to Sanzo. He leaned in closer and, doing his best to speak seductively, said “I could show you.”

“Show me?” Sanzo unconsciously leaned back as he felt his body heat up at Goku's words and proximity.

“What I learned and why I was in that store.” Goku moved to straddle Sanzo's lap, pressing their bodies flush against each other. He captured Sanzo's lips while pulling their hips together with his hands. He felt Sanzo's breath catch at the contact. After what seemed like an eternity, he broke the kiss and moved his mouth to Sanzo's ear. He softly bit the earlobe before whispering, “Do you want me to show you?”

Sanzo could only let out a strangled moan as a reply. The sensations currently assaulting him were totally foreign and thus hindering his normal capacity for speech. He had always abstained from anything sexual, for some reason never finding women attractive. He now knew that it was because he was meant to be with Goku. His entire being was telling him that it had been waiting forever for this moment.

He felt Goku's hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him. Sanzo let himself be lowered to the ground as he stared up into Goku's eyes. Goku smiled at the bewildered expression on Sanzo's face, suddenly very happy that he had gone to Gojyo for advice. Even if this was the only time it would ever happen, he would always enjoy the memory of briefly having Sanzo at his mercy.

Finally getting to play out the scene that had been haunting him since that day at the lake, Goku kissed Sanzo passionately before moving down to his neck. He let his hands roam freely over Sanzo’s muscled chest and abdomen, grinning in satisfaction as Sanzo arched into his touch. He moved his hands down and gripped Sanzo’s waist pulling them closer together as he left his mark on his pale neck.

Goku released Sanzo's waist and moved his hands back up to his sides. Sanzo's skin felt like heaven and he wanted to memorize every inch of his body. Unlike his own skin which had been browned and toughened by the sun, Sanzo's had rarely seen sunlight, and as such was soft and smooth to his touch.

He moved from Sanzo's neck down to his collarbone, tasting that wonderful skin which was better than any food he had ever eaten. He ran his tongue over the bone before going lower on Sanzo's torso.

When Sanzo felt Goku's mouth on his chest, it brought him out of the stupor he had been in. His body was hyper sensitive and everywhere Goku touched him felt like it was on fire. He found himself unsatisfied with the small amount of contact and began to pull up Goku's shirt.

Feeling his hands, Goku sat up a little. He smiled seductively down at Sanzo and helped him pull the shirt all the way off. He leaned back over Sanzo, propping himself up by placing his hands on either side of Sanzo's head.

Sanzo held his gaze for a moment, then let his eyes travel down Goku's finely chiseled chest, over his toned stomach, and to the pants that now hindered his sight. He brought his gaze back up, and tentatively raised a hand and ran it over Goku's stomach just above his waistline. Goku shuddered at his touch, which emboldened Sanzo. He brought his other hand up and began running them over Goku's skin, reveling in its feel as Goku had his only minutes before.

Still unsatisfied, Sanzo wrapped his arms around Goku's back and pulled him down so they were touching. The contact was almost too much for Sanzo, but at the same time left him wanting more. He felt his hands move down towards Goku's pants and begin to fumble with the button.

Goku smiled as Sanzo took some initiative, but wasn't yet willing to totally give up his newfound position. He gently removed Sanzo's hands, placing them on his back. He whispered, “Wait.” Sanzo's face betrayed his disappointment, but it soon faded into pleasure as Goku lowered his head back to his chest.

He slowly traced the scars on his chest with his tongue, as if apologizing for having caused them in the first place. His mouth almost distracted Sanzo from the fact that Goku's hands were currently undoing his own pants. He moved to stop Goku when he suddenly let out a groan. Goku bit down gently again, memorizing the sensitive area for future use.

“Raise your hips up.” He commanded softly, and Sanzo found himself instantly obeying. Goku's eyebrow went up in amusement. “No underwear, Sanzo-sama?” Sanzo flushed at the comment and moved to cover himself, but Goku once again stopped his hands.

As Goku's eyes hungrily took in the form below them, Sanzo wondered at the immense difference in his eyes now that he wasn't Seiten Taisei. The same lust was there, but this time it was overrun with an emotion that wasn't there last time. This new emotion made Sanzo trust Goku implicitly, and, though still unsure, he allowed Goku to move his hands away without a fight.

Goku's eyes made their way up to Sanzo's face, and he brought one hand up to caress his cheek. “You are so beautiful.” he breathed. Sanzo blinked in amazement. He had been told so many times before, but the compliment had never affected him the way it did now.

He sat up and caught Goku's lips, his kiss conveying all of the emotions he could not voice. They stayed that way for a long time. Speaking without words, each telling the other just how much he meant. Finally they parted, mouths centimeters away. Eyes still closed, they sat catching their breaths.

“I love you.” Sanzo's eyes opened and he looked at Goku's still closed ones. They slowly opened and looked at Sanzo with open adoration. “I love you.” he whispered again. Sanzo felt a smile tug at his lips. One truer than any he had ever allowed on his features. Hearing the words was infinitely better than assuming it were true. “Let me show you how much.” Goku continued, as he pulled away and pushed Sanzo back down.

Sanzo watched Goku's head move back down his torso while simultaneously running his hands up Sanzo's legs. His fingers ghosted over his inner thighs while his mouth worked its way down his stomach. Sanzo felt his stomach tighten and his body heat up as he waited in anticipation for... something. “Goku, what are you-”

His question was cut off when he felt Goku take him in his mouth. His head fell back against the ground and his hands wound themselves into Goku's hair as he tried to regain control over his body. Goku pushed Sanzo's straining hips down and continued to work, trying to do everything just right.

Sanzo brought his legs up and wrapped them around Goku's back as his own back arched up. There was an immense pressure that was both painful and pleasurable building within him, and Sanzo felt as though he would explode if it didn't stop soon. And then, it did.

Everything went white and Sanzo felt his entire body relax. He lay on the ground, panting hard as a sense of completion filled him. He didn't know what that was, but he wanted to feel it again. Goku's face came into view, looking somewhat worried and concerned. Unable to think coherently, Sanzo merely reached up and maneuvered Goku's head down to meet his own. He gave him a chaste kiss, his exhaustion making him incapable of doing anything else.

Goku smiled in relief. He was elated that he hadn't messed up. But now, Sanzo looked so tired. Goku looked down at himself, still very unsatisfied. He wanted to feel what Sanzo was feeling, but he didn't want to push the other man.

“That.... still doesn’t.... explain.... why... you were in that..... store.” Sanzo panted out.

Goku brought his eyes back up to Sanzo's. “Well, there's more, but I don't want to make you if you're not ready....” he tried to keep the hopeful expression off of his face, but was unable to.

Sanzo smiled slightly, “I'm not that weak Goku. I think I can take it.”

Goku met his smile, but his face dampened slightly, “Gojyo said it hurts at first. I don't want to hurt you.”

“Only at first?” Sanzo had no idea what Goku was talking about, but he wanted the other to enjoy this too. He felt bad being the only one. Goku nodded slightly. “Go ahead, I don't mind.”

Goku looked at him seriously. “Tell me if you want me to stop and I will.”

Sanzo answered by kissing him. Goku's unreleased desire washed back over him, and he pushed Sanzo back, kissing him with all of his pent up need. Sanzo's hands immediately went to divesting Goku of the rest of his clothing. Goku helped him, and when their bodies finally fully touched unhindered, both stopped.

“Kami, you feel so good.” Goku choked out. He began to move up and down on Sanzo, causing the other man to quickly become aroused again. Sanzo felt the now familiar tension returning, and he wondered what else could possibly happen between them. He gasped in protest as Goku suddenly climbed off of him.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Forgot something.” Sanzo watched him rummage through his clothing until he produced a small bottle. He opened it and poured some of the contents onto his hand. Sanzo's confusion was clearly written on his features. Wanting him to be totally sure, Goku said. “Do you really want to do this?”

Sanzo nodded. He wasn't positive that he did, but he trusted Goku not to hurt him. Goku began to kiss Sanzo's chest while his hands occupied themselves lower. Sanzo stiffened as he felt a finger where he was sure they weren't supposed to go, but at that moment Goku's mouth found his newly discovered sensitive spot. Sanzo moaned and barely noticed the finger slipping into him.

Goku continued to attack that place while he moved his finger around experimentally. He bit down gently to distract Sanzo as he slipped in a second finger. Sanzo's hands moved to his shoulders as he tried to cope with the double assault. Goku raised his head to look at Sanzo.

Understanding his expression Sanzo once again nodded, signaling that he was fine. Goku latched onto Sanzo's skin as he inserted a third finger. Sanzo shifted uncomfortably, but soon began to move with the motion of Goku's hand. Satisfied that he had adequately prepared him, Goku removed his hand and began to kiss Sanzo while he coated himself.

He positioned himself then broke the kiss to look at Sanzo. His sun was looking at him with such an expression of love and trust that he paused momentarily. “I”m sorry.” he whispered, then pushed himself in.

Sanzo's face wrenched up in pain and he gritted his teeth against the cry that wanted to come out. Goku remained still, wanting to give Sanzo time to adjust. He kissed Sanzo and whispered nonsense to him. Once the initial shock had worn away, Sanzo began to move slightly.

A strangled moan escaped from Goku at the sensation. Sanzo moved a little more, grateful to be able to give some pleasure back to Goku. Goku began to move with him, and they settled into a comfortable rhythm. All the while, Goku kept caressing his skin with his lips and whispering how much he loved the man beneath him.

Goku suddenly shifted his angle, and Sanzo gasped as he hit something inside of him. Goku smiled and began to hit it with each thrust. The pace became faster as they drove each other towards completion. Goku felt himself getting close, and wrapped his hand around Sanzo, to help him reach his.

Sanzo jerked as he came, muscles tightening around Goku. Goku came a moment later, filling Sanzo before collapsing on top of him. They lay in companionable silence listening to the breathing and heartbeat of the other. Finally, Sanzo felt as though he could speak again. “I take back what I said about killing Gojyo.”

He felt Goku's smile on his skin. “Hai.” Goku raised himself up and brushed Sanzo's hair away from his face. “I might even have to give him the last dumpling in thanks.”

Sanzo smirked, “Who knew such a perverted and worthless excuse for an existence could actually come in handy?”

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“Aaaa-cho!” Gojyo wiped his nose before returning to building the campfire.

[~:.:~]

[~end of chapter~]