[Generic Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all the affiliated characters are copyright to Kazuya Minekura. No profit has or will be made off of this fiction.]

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~For the Smile of Tomorrow~

Summary: Goku is trying to sort out his feelings for Sanzo, and Sanzo is doing his best to protect his saru's smile.

Warnings: Rating is R to be safe, nothing this chapter, but stuff happens in later chapters that might be seen as “inappropriate”

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Chapter 7: Forever

The river ran alongside the jeep. It shone a beautiful deep blue as the sunlight danced across its surface. Sanzo found himself staring at the water, entranced by its wild nature. The water almost seemed to be racing the jeep. Both flying towards the West for reasons of their own.

He was getting close now. He knew that he had to be. It was only a matter of time at this point before he completed his plan. He was fairly confident that Goku would be pleased. However, the young man would probably be shocked at first, since Sanzo had not shared his idea beforehand.

Sanzo looked towards the North as he felt a large presence of youkai headed their way. He turned his head to face Hakkai who merely nodded without taking his eyes from the road. The jeep slowed to a halt and the four men climbed out. Hakuryu transformed and settled on Hakkai’s shoulder as they stood and waited.

The terrain they had been traveling over was mostly plains with a few scattered trees. For this reason, it wasn’t long before they could see the attack party, which was much larger than the ones they had been encountering recently.

Sanzo could hardly reign in his anticipation as he pulled out his gun and checked to make sure it was fully loaded. Beside him, Gojyo and Goku called forth their weapons, and Hakkai began to gather his chi.

As the youkai neared, they quickly moved to circle the four men, foolishly thinking that they would have an advantage if they did so. The air was tense as four men faced off against eighty. Each side stood still, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Growing impatient, Goku yelled enthusiastically, “Dibs on the East side!”

“I’ll take the North” Gojyo pronounced while getting into an offensive position.

“South.” Hakkai spoke with a smile.

“West.” Sanzo muttered. At his word they all jumped forward and into the fray.

Sanzo immediately took out six youkai with his gun, then skillfully dodged attacks while he reloaded. He knew this routine so well that he almost didn’t have to think. Shoot. Dodge. Reload. It was a twisted dance and he reveled in it.

He finally killed enough that he could begin to see his traveling companions through the crowd. They were also destroying the enemy at an impressive speed. Sanzo quickly assessed how many were left around him, and a smile crossed his features when he saw the number.

“Perfect.” His smugness seemed to enrage the youkai within hearing range because they all suddenly attacked with renewed fervor. Sanzo easily countered them, slowly counting in his head. One. Sanzo’s blood became hot and coursed through his veins, spurring him on. He lost himself in the fight, killing without mercy or regret.

One youkai managed to wrench his gun from his grasp. The youkai smiled victoriously and slung the gun as far as he could. Unfazed, Sanzo reached forward and broke its neck. Just because I use a gun, doesn’t mean I’m weak without it. Sanzo turned quickly as he felt another behind him. He thrust his hand through it’s chest, killing it instantly.

He looked down at his hand and resisted the urge to lick off the blood running down his arm. There were still a few left to kill, he had to stay focused. He dropped into a fighting posture. The remaining youkai blanched for a moment, and Sanzo could almost taste their fear of him. The moment passed, and they attacked, desperate to kill the monster in front of them.

Sanzo just smiled.

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Goku crashed his Nyoi-bou into the head of a youkai then through the chest of the last one. He turned quickly as he felt something hit his foot. He swung his weapon ready to attack, but froze when he saw what it was: Sanzo’s gun. His eyes began to frantically search the area for Sanzo. He was good at martial arts, but with a group of youkai this large, he needed his gun.

He picked up the weapon and made for the blond head he saw surrounded by five youkai. It was a little distance away, but he was sure he could reach Sanzo in time to help him. He didn’t though. By the time he made it to where Sanzo was, the youkai were already dead. Sanzo withdrew his hand from the fifth and final youkai, watching the blood slide down his hand with obvious pleasure.

Goku felt as though the world had stopped. His eyes moved slowly from the blood stained claws, past the black sun on his left shoulder, up to the feral grin made even more so by the fangs that now accented it. Sanzo’s hair had grown slightly longer, but it did nothing to hid the pointed ears sticking out from underneath.

“Masaka...” he whispered, taking a step back and gaining the attention of Sanzo, who turned his gaze from his hands to stare at the young man in front of him. Goku flinched at the murderous intent clear in Sanzo’s now slitted eyes. He didn’t want to fight Sanzo, but he had to do something to stop him. His hands tightened around Nyoi-bou as he prepared to receive an attack. Sanzo took a few menacing step towards him, but stopped suddenly in obvious confusion.

Sanzo’s blood was pounding in his ears. He could feel darkness all around him, threatening to overtake him. His body was screaming at him, telling him to kill the demon in front of him. But as he stared into those golden eyes, he was positive that he didn’t want to destroy them. Kill. Kill. Kill. The words echoed through his consciousness like a mantra, but a smaller voice was telling him otherwise.

Sanzo tried to focus on that voice, but it was hard to hear it over the pounding in his head. However, he found that the more he looked at those golden eyes in front of him, the easier the voice was to hear. He concentrated on it, gaze never wavering from Goku’s. He felt his blood calm slightly, and regained some semblance of control over himself.

He slowly brought up one hand, as if he were having to fight himself to do so, and put it in his pocket, grasping the object inside. Just holding it helped immensely. With surer movements, he slid the small gold object onto his right ring finger and instantly felt the blood inside being sealed. He fell to his knees as the newfound power vanished, leaving him feeling faintly dizzy.

Goku was instantly at his side, asking if he was ok. Sanzo didn’t respond to his questions, but stood back up placing his hand to his head. The flash of gold caught his eye and he pulled his hand back to stare at the demon limiter now resting on his finger. He had done it.

“You did that on purpose.” Goku and Sanzo both turned their heads at the sound of Hakkai’s voice. He and Gojyo were standing a few feet away, watching the scene in shock.  “You had this planned.” He continued accusingly, barely veiled anger seeping into his voice.

Sanzo drew himself up glaring at Hakkai. The brunette’s mouth opened in surprise as he read and understood the expression in Sanzo’s eyes. He turned his eyes towards Goku, then nodded his head in understanding. I see… He slipped his normal smile back in place. “Ne, Goku, why don’t you accompany Sanzo down to the river and help him get washed up. Gojyo and I will go a little further up the road and set up camp.”

Goku nodded dumbly and began to walk in the direction that Hakkai spoke of. He couldn’t believe what he had just seen. Why would Sanzo allow this to happen? He could have easily avoided becoming a demon. I thought he had to be bathed in the blood of a thousand youkai, and Sanzo was always very careful not to—Goku stopped walking as he recalled Sanzo’s new interest in fighting as well as his uncharacteristic habit of getting blood on himself while he did so…

Beside him, Sanzo was equally silent. He pulled off his arm protectors which were drenched in the blood of the youkai he had just slain. He wrinkled his nose in disgust and stuck them in the back of his jeans. He then took off his shirt and began to wipe his hands on it. Figuring that he could clean the shirt later, he wanted the blood off of his skin now. Sanzo halted when he felt Goku stop. He turned and saw the young man staring at him in disbelief. He moved towards him and reached out a hand, “Goku, are you ok?”

Goku responded by grabbing his hand and staring at the ring on Sanzo’s finger. He traced it lightly as he spoke, confusion seeping into his words. “Hakkai was right. You planned this, you knew it would happen.” He looked up at Sanzo searchingly, openly displaying all of his emotions.

“Aa.” Sanzo answered carefully. Goku was more upset than he thought he would be. He would have to handle the situation cautiously.

“Why?” Goku asked, stepping forward and gripping Sanzo’s hand more tightly. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

Sanzo dropped his shirt and brought up his now free hand and caressed Goku’s face. “Because, no matter what, I can’t help but want to see your smile.”

Goku blinked in confusion. “My smile? How can I be happy when you’ve become what you most hate. You’ve become-“

“I’ve become someone who can promise you forever.” Sanzo cut him off quietly. From the look he was getting, Sanzo could see that Goku still did not understand the full implications of what he had done and why he did it. He dropped his eyes to the hand that Goku was still grasping and continued to speak in a quiet tone:

“I guess it’s selfish of me, but I want to be the reason for your smile. As a mortal, I would die. I would no longer be a source of happiness for you, but a source of pain. One day someone would teach you to smile again. You would find a source of happiness outside of myself, and you would go on living without me.” Sanzo paused and raised his eyes to meet Goku’s. “I don’t want that to happen though. I want to be the reason you smile. Forever.”

Sanzo looked at Goku searchingly and made a decision. It was now or never. What happened next would either guarantee him a lifetime of heaven or hell. He closed his eyes, imprinting the image of Goku at this moment into his memory. When he reopened his eyes they were missing the usual walls. For the first time in seven years he looked at Goku without his mask. Completely honest, and withholding nothing.

Goku opened his mouth in shock and took a step back. “You… you…” For once, his emotions were veiled to Sanzo. He could not discern how Goku took what he had just revealed. Might as well go all out.

“I love you, Goku.” The words were spoken softly, but determinedly. His next statement, however, held a twinge of doubt, “And I was hoping that maybe you loved me too.” Sanzo stood as a man at a mark. He had told Goku everything, and his life now depended on the next words to leave Goku’s mouth.

Goku tore his gaze away from Sanzo’s and stared at the ground. He was in no way prepared for anything that had just happened. Sanzo’s behavior the day before. His transformation into a demon for his sake. And now his confession. Goku felt as though his entire world had been pulled out from under him.

However, despite everything that had changed, there was one constant. One thing that had never changed. He looked back at Sanzo who was anxiously awaiting his response. Goku smiled. A small one at first, but it slowly grew as everything sank in. Sanzo loved him, and he would never have to be alone again.

Unable to articulate the joy he felt at that moment, Goku pulled Sanzo’s hand hard, causing the monk to fall a little forward. Goku raised up his other hand and caught the back of Sanzo’s head, maneuvering it towards his own. Sanzo’s gasp of surprise was cut off as Goku kissed him.

Sanzo recovered quickly. He put his arms around Goku’s waist and pulled him closer. Goku had one hand entwined in his hair and the other caressing his face. Sanzo opened his mouth in surprise as he felt something other than lips. Goku took the opportunity and slid his tongue into Sanzo’s mouth.

Sanzo almost frowned as he felt rather than saw Goku’s teasing smile. He was fairly certain that this was Goku’s first kiss, as it was his own. How the hell did the saru know what he was doing, when he didn’t have a clue. He caught on soon enough however, and almost immediately began to battle Goku for dominance.

Goku let Sanzo take control of the kiss as he felt his knees begin to weaken at the feel of having Sanzo inside of his mouth. Sanzo tasted like heaven, a perfect blend of everything that defined him. Goku slowly drew away and rested his head on Sanzo’s shoulder as they both caught their breaths.

“I was wrong.” Sanzo pulled back at the statement and looked at Goku in pain and befuddlement. Goku smiled as he drew Sanzo nearer. Just before their lips met he whispered, “You’re delicious.”

[~:.:~]

[~end of chapter~]