i have always been of the opinion that the truest test of intelligence is the ability to confess that you have no clue as to what you are doing...
 

amateur grit : opportunity and artistic vision
d jon downs
september 2001
 

framework
i am egotistical, that much i can admit.  but even i am not so full of myself that i would purport to call myself an accomplished photographer.  my pre-owned canon ae-1 comes out of its bag only when i become inspired.  after shooting any and all rolls of film i can manage to scrounge up, it is immediately packed back away, often for months at a time.  because i have no "connections," i spend $75 on every trip to the processing lab.  i am the seminal rank amateur.

i know shit about photography.  in fact, what i do know about the techniques of the art form would be hard-pressed to fill a flea's brain (do fleas even have brains, or just some sort of nerve cell stem? i have no idea about that either...  wait, found it).  i barely know an f-stop from a fungus infection.  film speed, depth of field, focal length?  i have to refer to my copy of michael langford's 35mm handbook every time i become inspired enough to unpack my camera again.

assistance
true, at one time, my father made his living as a professional photographer.  one of my best friends is currently one of cleveland's preeminent commercial food and still-life photographers.  and another friend has made a hobby of owning and using every camera that ever retailed for less than $50.  they've all done their best to educate me, but evidently i am simply untrainable.  not their fault that my amateur standing remains secure.

the only thing i've ever done that even remotely resembles formal training was the one week sprint course in black and white photography i took one summer at miami university.  during those five days, i was instructed in photography, film processing, and printing by an exceptional photographer named jon yamashiro.
 

conception
though i remember basically nothing about photography, film processing, or printing (mostly because i haven't had much opportunity to practice during the years since that summer class), i was profoundly influenced by jon's vision and photographic style.  his images are profound, dark, disturbing—precisely my kind of stuff.

something which had incubated within me was borne that week.  photography became a means to express my vision of the human condition in a way that is decidedly atypical of my outward personality.  these days, i am a fairly patient, caring, flexible, and contented man.  my images, in stark contrast, tend to fall into two main groups: intimate despair and cool inhumanity.

technique
an empty wooden bowl.  an air conditioning unit.  my goal has always been discovering my dark vision in everyday objects.

i do use and manipulate props in creating my photos.  that's about the extent of it.  to this day, there are many things i've yet to try when shooting photos.  i've yet to experiment with lighting, except for your basic hot-shoe flash.  don't use filters.  unless going for some special effect, i don't mess with color balance or contrast.  never even bother to dust my prints or clean the glass before scanning.

after assessing my goals, none of that seems particularly relevant.
   

nomenclature
all at once, i have come to love and detest labels.  there are words i use to characterize my photos: somber, blurred, abrasive, grainy, eerie, obscure, cold, drab, sober, gritty.

amateur grit.
 

copyright © 2001 david j downs.  all rights reserved.