Title:  Pillow Talk

Author:  Miss Murchison

Rating:  PG so far.  That will change.

Disclaimer:  All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.  Only the lame plots and dialogue herein are mine.

Notes:  A Spuffy story that starts in early Season 6 before deviating from canon.   A slight change in circumstances, a different decision or two, and you wind up with very different results.

Thanks: To Keswindhover and revdorothyl for the beta.

The story begins here.

Chapter 15

Buffy's hand hesitated a moment, in spite of her haste to get Spike out of the sunlight and to drag Dawn away from the Taco Bell that was beckoning from just down the alley. Then she opened the back door to the Magic Box and shoved her charges inside the training room.

She wished desperately that Giles would be waiting inside to help her and not on one of his trips to England. It was hard having a part-time watcher, especially for the part of the time that he wasn't here.

Maybe Buffy would be just a little bit lucky, and Willow wouldn't be there either.

Why would that be lucky? Willow's the best at magic.

"Well, that was fun." Dawn's voice dripped sarcasm. “I need to travel more often with a guy who keeps letting his blanket slip so that his hand catches on fire. It’s a good thing I’ve perfected the ‘Stop, drop into the shadows, and roll the vampire’ technique.”

"Yeah, did that on purpose, I did. It couldn't have had anything to do with a pack of bloody rude humans jostling a bloke in their rush for the Food Mart." Spike tossed aside his blanket, brushed ash off his left arm, and started doing something to his hair that Buffy supposed he thought made it look better. "Besides, who decided halfway here that life without an order of Nachos Bellgrande was not worth living?"

"I got over it." Dawn drew herself up to her full height, which, Buffy noted with a bit of a shock, made her nearly as tall as Spike. "I wasn't the one who insisted on going by the Hill of Beans."

"I had to see if Nancy and the others were still holding out. I think they can hang on as long as the latest batch of panini lasts." Buffy cast a glance at the door dividing the exercise room from the store. "I wonder if Willow's here?"

Dawn made a noise that sounded like, "Hmph."

Spike's eyebrow was doing that thing it did when it asked a question, and Dawn elaborated. "She probably cast the spell in the first place."

"Maybe. This cock-up is more like the little witch that could who we used to know, not the mad scientist version she's been playing lately." Spike shrugged. "But if this is another of her nifty notions, it should be easy for her to fix."

Buffy was surprised at this criticism but didn't let herself dwell on it. Ignoring the voice in her head that said she really should just go back home, climb into her bed, and curl up clutching her pillow, she strode to the door and stepped into the main room of the Magic Box.

Giles was there, sitting at the round table near the back, drinking tea and eating donuts. Buffy dove for him, her mind barely registering the presence of the other Scoobies until after he'd hugged her back and told her to take care not to squish the last of the jelly donuts.

"I got in yesterday," he said in response to her flood of questions. "I went by the house, but you were gone, and in your place there was an incredible mess in the kitchen."

"Oh, yeah, but that was because--"

"And there was nothing decent left to eat. Honestly, Buffy, the only tea I could find was some warehouse store brand that must have been sitting in the cupboard for months. In bags!"

Buffy stepped back. "It's got you too."

"What's got me?" Giles' gaze wandered. "Xander, that jelly is mine, and I have specifically told you several times not to touch it!"

"You ate yours!" Xander circled around to the other side of the table, crouching down below the huge pile of junk food packaging, much of it empty, that spilled all over the flat surface.. "This one's mine!"

Willow watched them both with intense interest as she sipped on a glass of milk. "Hi, Buffy! Want some cookies?"

The door to the small bathroom opened. "Hey, Buffy, what happened to you? You look and smell like you were wrestling in a cattle pen." Anya waved a brightly-decorated bag. "Want some Cheetos?"

Buffy realized with a yelp that she hadn't checked a mirror since rolling around on the floor of the butcher's shop with Spike.

"Never mind that." Dawn grabbed the Cheetos, started to thrust her hand into the bag, but then threw the bag on the table instead. "Buffy found out there's some kind of spell that's making us eat too much."

"Wow." Willow picked up the bag and started munching. "Really?"

Dawn stamped her foot and pointed at the mess on the table. "Come on, guys, look! After the way you pigged out last night, should you even be wanting any of that?"

There was a hiccup from a corner by the bookshelves and Tara said, "She's right. I've had three big bags of baby carrots in the past hour, and I'm still hungry."

"I told you to get some veggie dip with those," said Anya, who had rescued her bag of Cheetos.

Willow gave Anya a nasty look, but only poured herself another glass of milk and magicked another Cheetos bag into existence.

"Stop eating!" Buffy grabbed Xander by the elbow and forcibly removed him from the vicinity of the Krispy Kreme box. But the moment she let him go and turned to rescue the Cheetos from Anya, he regained custody of the donuts.

"You took the honey-dipped!” he accused Willow.

Willow looked down at the donut, which was already half gone. “Sorry. I’ll trade you some more Cheetos.” She held up the bag that she held in her other hand.

Xander looked a bit shamefaced. “That’s okay, Will. As long as you’re happy.” He looked down at the almost-empty box . “I’ll just go out and get some more!”

“Oh, no you won’t!” Buffy released Anya to corral Xander.

Dawn looked around at the Scoobies helplessly. "We have to stop them. They're going to hurt themselves, blow up or something."

"I think the only way to stop it is to figure out the spell," said Buffy, who had just confiscated two bags of carrots, only to have Tara immediately raid a stash of broccoli that had been hidden under Giles' desk. "Unless we lock them all up in an empty cell somewhere, but they might hurt themselves trying to get out."

Giles walked over to Spike. "Never mind us. What if this one gets hungry? We never did determine how far we could trust that chip…"

Spike's hands balled into fists. "Don't worry, Rupert. It's not like I'd get the yen for a tough old piece of meat like you."

Damn! Can any two males be in the same room without catching testosterone poisoning! Buffy stepped between them. The last thing she needed was for either of them to confirm the chip wasn't working at the moment. She put her hand on Giles' arm. "Don't worry about Spike. It mostly seems to affect humans."

"And high school football coaches," Dawn added. "You should have seen Mr. Needlemeyer chugging Gatorade and scarfing Snickers--"

Buffy interrupted. "From what I can tell, it's not very effective on demons. Nancy and the others at the Hill of Beans seemed okay."

That seemed to distract Giles from Spike. He left off glaring at the vampire to stare at Buffy. "The new coffee shop owners are demons?"

"Yeah, but just Luzorians."

"Oh. Well, they can be decent bakers." Giles reached out for another donut. "I should check out the scones there."

Buffy slapped his hand and dragged him over to the row of bookcases. "Research!" she demanded. "Giles, we need you."

Giles seemed to pull himself together, and even Spike picked out a book at random and started leafing through it. The rest of the Scoobies made no move to help, and Buffy couldn't bring herself to prod them to it. Tara was lying on the floor, clutching a book in one hand and a floret of broccoli in the other. Dawn pried the book from her grasp. "It's all about herbs. Could some herb do this?"

"I doubt it," said Giles. "But it's as good a place to start as any."

Dawn sat on one of the rungs of the ladder, opened the book and said, "Lethe's Bramble."

"Well, that's not very likely to be used for an eating spell." Giles' voice was cross. "Look, I don't see any reason why I can't have a donut while I work on this."

Dawn defended herself. "Well, it seemed like a good place to start, since there was a carrot stick stuck in the page!" She thumbed back to the beginning of the herbal and started reading.

Buffy decided that since she had put the forces of research into action, she could take a minute to deal with other important issues. A dash to the bathroom revealed that even with the assistance of industrial strength laundry detergent, her clothes were not going to make it to another shift at the Hill of Beans. She grabbed a sweat suit from the training room, then washed her face and fixed her hair as best she could with the toiletries she kept at the Magic Box for post-workout primping. But she was in a rush to check on the others, and the repairs to her makeup weren't up to her usual standard.

When she returned to the main room, she found that instead of moving into dependability mode, Giles had wandered back to the box of donuts and was arguing with Xander over custody of a chocolate glazed. She steered him to the bookshelves, but it was clear she wasn't going to be able to depend on her Watcher in this crisis. She stared at a row of leather-bound volumes and felt a familiar panic and helplessness.

When she had to be with the Scoobies, Buffy liked it best when they were doing research. She could just pick up a book and stare at it and not listen to what the others were saying. It wasn't as if anyone ever expected her to come up with any answers. She had always sucked at research. Except… She dredged up memories of one or two classes in high school and during her brief college career. There had been times when she'd not only enjoyed studying, but managed to understand and comment on the things she'd read in ways that hadn't resulted in actual mockage. If she'd done it then, she could do it now. She squared her shoulders, pretended the big book in the middle of the nearest shelf was a particularly nasty demon, and reached out to conquer it.

She fumbled through that one and several others, stepping over Tara from time to time. Other than Tara's sobs as she gnawed on vegetables, the only sounds from the vicinity of the researchers were the turning of pages and wordless exclamations of frustration. Willow spent at least a half-hour by herself under the table, refusing to allow anyone else to touch a box of cookies she'd appropriated. Xander was sitting with his head on the table, but that didn't stop him from forcing bits of food into his mouth every couple of minutes. The only noises they produced were chewing noises and occasional moans of, "Why didn't anyone remember to get some Di-Gel on the last donut run?"

Except for Anya. Every time a box or bag of junk food was emptied, she happily opened another and resumed munching. Twice she jumped up and skipped to the bathroom, briefly adding a whir of a fan to the noises in the room. When Buffy heard Anya start to hum under her breath, she had to force herself to concentrate on a book of curses so that she didn't scream in annoyance.

At least Giles was making some small efforts when he was between bites. "Eating…anti-famine spells…" He reached over Buffy's head to pull out another book. "The Dalvoids were always on the verge of starving to death. Maybe they would have recorded something. But this isn't one of my languages. Does anyone here know Dalvoid?"

Buffy stared at him in disbelief, and Dawn snorted. "Yeah, I spent last night brushing up on my Dalvoid. Tomorrow I'm going to pick up Sumerian and maybe some Sanskrit. Giles, you're talking to someone who's barely making it through first-year Spanish."

But Spike looked up from his post in a corner. "I speak it."

Giles tossed him the book .

Spike caught it, but added, "Didn’t say I read it, mate." He tossed the book back.

Giles walked over to Spike, shoved the book in his hands and growled, "Sound it out! I have the mother of all stomach aches!"

At least Spike seemed to have completely sobered up. He wasn't slurring his words or stopping every few seconds to stare at her hungrily. Buffy wasted a few minutes staring at him in what she assured herself was not a hungry fashion at all.

Her attention was distracted when Giles stood up and announced, “I’m heading three doors down to get some digestives and more tea. Anyone want something?”

Buffy cut through requests for, “Tootsie Pops,” “Doritos,” “cauliflower,” and the inevitable “Krispy Kreme!”

“No, Giles. I need you to stay here and help me.”

Giles’ expression was blank, as if he’d completely forgotten he was under a spell. “But—there’s no more Earl Grey.”

Before Buffy could respond, Spike intervened. "Let him go. I’ll keep him company as far as the corner shop. It's not like he's being any use otherwise, and I'm telling you, Slayer, that if I can't stop at least one craving, I'm going to start fanging the bloody books instead of reading them." His forehead was starting to wrinkle and he'd backed himself into a corner near the bookcases.

"What?" Buffy's voice was tight and she forced herself to remember where her closest stash of stakes were. She was about to grab Dawn and pull her to safety when Spike snarled his response.

"Smokes. If I don't get some nicotine, I'm going spare, and that's a fact. I’ll grab my blanket and go with Rupert here."

Xander raised his head and made a bleary contribution. “You’re going to poison us with those coffin nails! Second-hand smoke is deadly, you know?" He pawed at a package, and grimaced when turning it upside down proved it was empty. "But while you’re out there, get us some Twinkies. And some Dos Equis.”

Spike snarled. “Oh, yeah, you’re the poster boy of healthy living, Harris.”

“Shut up, both of you!” Buffy remembered the empty cigarette pack Spike had held at the butcher's shop. From what she knew of nicotine addicts, it wasn't surprising that particular craving had started preoccupying him. In fact, she should be relieved it wasn't blood. Was relieved, of course. And I'm not the teeniest bit jealous that it's not the taste of me he can't cope without. Not at all, because that would be a stupid thing to think in an emergency.

She went to peek out of the blinds covering the windows at the front of the shop. People were sitting and standing everywhere, pigging out on whatever treat they’d managed to score from a local shop or restaurant. The street was paved with spilled popcorn and candy. There were plenty of tussles over everything from a loaf of bread to melting pints of Haagen-Daz, but no one seemed to be getting seriously hurt. After a moment's sulk, the loser of a scuffle would give up custody of the food and wander off to look for something else. And there were no demons in sight. At least, no recognizable demons. Nothing skulking in the shadows.

"Okay, Spike, but you can’t risk having your blanket pulled off in that mob out there. Giles can't go, at least not alone. I don't trust him to come back."

Willow peeked her head out from under the table where she'd been hiding again. "I can do a spell--"

"No!"

It was startling to hear Spike and Giles shout in unison. Giles glared at Spike, as if annoyed to find himself on the vampire's side, and said in a calmer tone. "Using witchcraft while bewitched oneself can be very dangerous, Willow. You know that."

"Won't stop her," came a waterlogged murmur from Tara's direction.

"You haven't been using witchcraft to get food already, have you?" asked Giles. "Willow, if you've been that careless--"

"Not!" Willow was struggling to a seated position at the table, and Buffy saw her sliding a bag of Cheetos and a milk jug deeper into the shadows with her foot. "Of course not. I--just wasn't thinking, what with the hunger and all." She burped. "And the tummy rumbles. Giles, make sure you pick up a roll of Tums." Another burp. "Maybe a carton."

Buffy turned away and started to tell Spike that she'd get his cigarettes, but then she realized she shouldn't leave a vampire with a possibly inactive behavioral chip alone with the others. He'd slouched back into a corner again, pretending to flip through the pages of his book, but she could read the tension in his hands and face. He looked tired and needy, almost as if he'd fall to pieces if she touched him. Very tasty pieces, perhaps. She ran her tongue over her lips. No, she definitely couldn’t leave him. But who to send--

Delegation of authority is tough when you’re the Chosen One. She looked around the room and found only one candidate.

"Dawn, you’re in charge of Giles."

“I’m in charge?” Dawn looked shocked for a half-second before pride took over her features.

Buffy forced back the mother of all qualms. She has to grow up sometime. “Yes, you’re in charge. Stay in direct sunlight as much as you can, and get him back here as fast as possible, without too much food.”

“Beer!” called Xander.

“No beer,” said Buffy.

Spike raised his head. “And smokes!”

“And Spike’s damn cigarettes. And, Dawn, listen. I really need you to reconnoiter. I have to know what's going on out there. Especially try if you can see how they're doing at the Hill of Beans. I'm worried about them. But if you see anything the slightest bit dangerous, you get back here!"

Dawn practically saluted before taking Giles by the arm and marching him out the door, her air of majestic dignity only slightly spoiled by her quick, “Yeah, yeah, I know,” response to Spike’s shout of “No rubbishy lights or menthols, mind!”

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